The SD Card

Ok, so it’s about 1 a.m. and I started thinking about the greatest assets of the PUA mindset.  One is the sheer number of people I’ve met since my shyness has become less of an issue, and the other?  You guessed it, the women!  What if she has a boyfriend?  Alot of times, we get women who want us because they are unhappy with their current boy toys, spouses or whatever.  I know what you might be thinking, “Dude, she wants me! End of discussion.”  Down Boy!  You can thank our PUA forefathers for leaving us this gem of a quote, “leave her better than you found her.”  Now I know we all have uges and we will mess  up, but knowing that is no justification.  Does that mean I’m saying you shouldn’t approach if you KNOW she’s involved with someone?  Hell fucking no!  Seduction is everywhere, from beer commercials to spring break, and the more you practice the better you get.

What I am saying is practice always but ask yourself: Am I leaving her better off than she was?  Look, if it’s a one time thing, be careful…  But there is one solution, an open relationship.  What’s that you say?  Isn’t that the same as cheating?  It depends on how you look at it.  If you make the argument that multiple partners is a shitty and dare I say it, sinful thing, then maybe, but here’s my criteria:

Open Relationships

1. More than one partner

2. Everone involved is at least of age

3. All people involved are in the know and are cool with it

Cheating is just a way of saying you weren’t grown up enough to have an honest conversation about polyamory.  Remember, if everone knows and it it’s cool, it’s all good.

Occasionally, I like to share articles I find whilst I fumble my way across the net. Being a disabled PUA, this article on sex and the disabled hits a soft spot. I found this article at Fox News, I hope you guys enjoy it.

An issue affecting many is finally getting the attention it deserves.

Last week, the Center for Excellence in Sexual Health at Morehouse School of Medicine in Atlanta hosted a conference titled “Wounded Troops and Partners: Supporting Intimate Relationships.” With former Surgeon Generals Dr. David Satcher and Dr. Richard Carmona among the speakers, as well as former Senator Bob Dole, this effort is a glimmer of hope that America is finally ready to deal with the issue of sex and disability.

When most people think “sexy,” they don’t think disabled. Yet people with disabilities can be very sexual — much more than we give them credit for. Consider, for example, that some women with complete spinal cord injury experience orgasm.

Click here to discuss this story.

Research by Barry Komisaruk, Beverly Whipple (The Science of Orgasm) and colleagues has shown that these women respond to vaginal or cervical self-stimulation because they could perceive it, with some reporting an orgasmic response.

When I was working on my Master’s degree in human sexuality, my class watched an old video from the 1970s exemplifying that people with disabilities can indeed be sexually active. In the video, a man was paralyzed from the neck down. Yet, despite his condition, he was able to bring his able-bodied partner to climax.

All it required was some movement on her part and his talented tongue. And as I listened to her moan — and then scream — her way into bliss, I remember being struck by the fact that she had just experienced what many women with non-disabled lovers do not. I remember thinking that the loving exchange I had just witnessed was more beautiful than most depictions of sex we normally see.

I share this because, as many of my colleagues have called for, we need to rethink the way we view sex – what and who is sexy. You or your partner may not be disabled — or may not have a chronic illness — but that day may come. Even if you can’t identify with missing a limb, being bed-ridden, or being having a brain injury, you could one day find yourself struggling with how to maintain a sex life in spite of back pain, spinal cord injury, multiple sclerosis, chronic fatigue, cystic fibrosis, cerebral palsy….

When it comes to sex and disability, the truth hurts. Yet we need to examine some harsh attitudes before we can challenge them. The following are societal attitudes that all of us need to set out to change:

1. People with disabilities aren’t sexual beings.

In many ways, that man in the aforementioned video was sexier to me than a lot of “hunks” we see depicted in magazines like Playgirl. He was expressing his sexuality, he was lost in the moment, and he was confident. Nothing was going to hold him back. At the end of the day, his oral fixation, and its results, were no different from anyone else’s.

Yet we tend to think that people with disabilities are different. Worse, if somebody is being treated like a child — as in can’t feed himself or can’t wipe herself — then we can’t see that person as sexy. Let’s not forget, people with disabilities have bodies, brains, feelings, libido … all of which make them incredibly sexual beings.

2. People with disabilities are undesirable.

Between the planning, patience, communication, and emotional support required, people who have a disability are labeled a burden when it comes to sex. Furthermore, society holds that if you can’t perform a certain way in the sack, then you’re no good. This is supposedly true even if you’re perfectly “abled.”

Humans go to great lengths when they love someone to make things happen — to express that love and realize its full potential. Nobody or nothing is considered a burden when you want it badly enough. It’s well worth the effort.

3. Good sex can only be spontaneous.

If you can’t have sex on the fly — if it requires planning and taking your time — then your sex life is chalked up as bad, according to our society. Try telling that to a Tantric sex practitioner, right? Good sex comes in all forms — and many will tell you that spontaneity can become overrated.

4. People with disabilities can’t have ‘real’ sex.

People are stuck on this notion that sex can be “true” sex only if it involves certain positions or maneuvers. Related to this is the idea that non-vaginal forms of sexual intimacy, like oral sex or masturbation, are not as good as the “real” thing.

What makes for real sex is often based on our preferences, values, and attitudes. For some it might be that they actually made love or that they felt present or that it had a certain outcome…. You create your own sexual experience, so don’t let anyone dictate what qualifies as intimacy for you.

5. People with disabilities shouldn’t worry about sex.

The societal attitude is: why fret over your sex life when you have bigger things to worry about? Sex is a luxury one with a disability cannot afford. Guess what? Sex is important to almost everyone, no matter what your condition. Almost everyone worries about sex at one point or another since we’re all sexual beings. Having a disability doesn’t trump that.

6. People with disabilities aren’t sexually adventurous (or if they are, they’re perverted).

It’s unfair to expect someone with a disability to be sexually passive. This person can desire, initiate, and thrive in the moment. People with disabilities enjoy sadomasochism, Tantric sex, sex toys… everything that an “abled” person does, and perhaps even more! Many of them have learned that your brain is indeed your biggest sex organ. And they like to keep it turned on!

7. People with disabilities shouldn’t have sex.

If you’re bedridden or need assistance moving around, society seems to think that you should be celibate. The lack of privacy is the biggest indicator of the disrespect we have for the sexual needs of those with a disability. A hospice, for example, may have no locks on the doors, or a nursing home may require that doors be open at all times. What’s great is that some people with a disability will still try to get a little bit of lovin’, no matter what the consequences are. They should be applauded instead of shamed for their efforts.

Honoring one’s sexual self is an important component to healing and coping, whether we are treating a hero home from war or somebody recovering from a major car accident. It cannot be ignored. It should not be discouraged. Their fight for sexual acknowledgment is everyone’s fight

I ran into this story about how some cops in the UK arrested some guys who were running game… Un-fucking believable! I hope this gets cleared up.

I found this interesting little story about a couple would-be pick up artists getting arrested by the police for approaching chicks over on the London Seduction Society message boards…

3 Puas arrested in Oxford St. saturday afternoon

Thats right….
I was just on my way to my spot where I like to do some game when I spot 3 dudes with the PUA uniform. I spotted them and went to lean against a wall to see them in action from a distance while I was making sure that they were in fact PUAs.

I see one of them do a 3 set aproach and eject in 3 seconds, so I had some doubts.
Then, another one of them crosses the street to speak to this blonde lone wolf and after him goes a cop.

In matter of seconds, the cop arrests the guy that now just looks completely shock and disbelief and I think that he actually handcufs the guy. A second PUA crosses the street to see whats going on and gets arrested as well… So the third PUA just goes in and the party begins:

3 random dudes are arrested and searched in a corner of Oxford St. by one uniformed cop and 2 other civilian-dressed. I wanted to help, but I was risking exactly the same as the other 2 dudes and besides, I dont even know them, so I better mind my own business.

So I move on to my spot, open a lone wolf…. takes me 30 minutes to get her number and I walk back Oxf. St. again… AND THEY’RE STILL THERE!!!

Seriously… if you’re reading this and you’re the dudes, please just tell us what the hell just happened… Is it because you were opening too many sets on cctv?

WTF…?

And here’s the response from one of the guys who got arrested…

The first and third ones were students, the second one was me.

Fucking arseholes.

I don’t lose my temper easily. But that cunt really flipped a switch.

I saw one cop handling my guy really roughly for no reason, so I jumped in and got involved. Then another plain clothed came out of nowhere and got me while I was trying to write down his shoulder numbers. Then another student came in to see what the fuck was going on. Yeah, you guessed it. He gets nicked too.

They just go on about “dipping” and codes, like we were meant to understand them, and offered no alternative explanation in English.

They thought we were a gang of Romanian “dippers”, although they refused to explain what “dipping” actually means. They got really abusive and physical, left one of my boys in cuffs for ages even after they realised they’d just made twats of themselves.

I’m still in utter disbelief at how inept, abusive and overly zealous they were.

No explanation. Hardly identification. Fucking unbelievable.

Then turns out “dippers” are people who nick shit off people’s bags.

WHAT THE FUCK.

More later, I’m off to get some sleep. Everyone’s fine and we had a fantastic night after.

Cunts.

Yikes! What’s next, a RICO case against seduction gurus?